


when you spill your guts, they don't go back in

by humanluke



Series: 5sos prompts [28]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Bad coping mechanisms, Depression, M/M, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanluke/pseuds/humanluke
Summary: luke is trying to run away from his problems.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin
Series: 5sos prompts [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019475
Kudos: 1





	when you spill your guts, they don't go back in

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you.”

The words pierce through Luke’s ears sharply, the familiar voice of Ashton almost soothing to him as he turns to face him. He has a cup in his hand, and he’s at a party, a party he’s not sure he remembers getting to. But he smiles so wide when he sees Ashton, gripping his cup a little more firmly in his hand as he sways a little on his feet, afraid that Ashton will take it away from him. He has a habit of it, of taking away his little pockets of fun when he wriggles out of his grasp for a night.

He doesn’t have a problem, he tells himself, smiling a little bit as he just hums in reply to Ashton’s question. Calum had been the one who had dragged him out tonight, had promised Ashton he would keep an eye on Luke. But Calum was nowhere to be seen (off in some corner with Michael, Ashton presumes,) and here Luke is, however many drinks deep as he surrounds himself with strangers. He offers Ashton another glittery smile, his eyelashes brushing over his cheekbones as he lets out a soft, content sigh, bringing the cup up to his lips again.

“Maybe I have,” he hums around the plastic rim. Ashton lets out a soft sigh, shaking his head a little bit. He wasn’t even going to come out tonight, wasn’t going to come and try to babysit Luke like this. He wanted to be able to trust him to go out without getting like this. But old habits break hard, and Ashton was just trying to look out for him. Luke’s judgement could be a little cloudy when he started to drink.

“Come on, babe, why don’t we get you home,” he offers. His voice is soft and gentle, not accusing. He just wants to get him back into a safe space, somewhere he could break down. He was getting to the point of being drunk where he would start to crumble and crack under the floodgate of emotions that always make their way to the surface. Ashton hates when he gets that way, because he can never do anything to stop it from happening. The only thing he can attempt to do is stop him from drinking in the first place.

So he’s already fighting a losing battle tonight.

“Mm, but I’m having fun!” Luke grins, swinging his arms out from his body. He almost spills a little of his drink, making a soft noise as he pulls the cup back closer to his chest to prevent any more loss of the beverage. Ashton knows he’s trying to protect his drink in more than one way, not just from spilling, but also from him confiscating it. He just offers Luke a soft smile, a hand curling around his waist gently so that he might let his guard down. It does work, Luke melting into Ashton’s touch like he always does. Ashton’s always known how to handle Luke, whether when he’s like this or on any other day. It just becomes trickier when he gets like this, because he gets to a point where he starts to doubt himself, and he should never have to do that. “Are you gonna dance with me, Ash?” he down to Ashton with stars in his eyes, sparkling the same way the glitter on his cheeks does.

“I would love to dance with you, sweetheart, but there’s a lot of people here in the way,” he says, his voice gentle as he pulls Luke a little closer to him. “Why don’t we go somewhere we can be just the two of us? Wouldn’t that be nice?” Luke pouts a little bit; he’s not stupid. Even drunk, he knows what Ashton’s trying to do. Still, the idea of getting Ashton to have even a little bit of fun with him, even if it’s back at the house… that’s something he can get behind. (or at least, that’s what the alcohol is telling him.) So he turns his pout into a little bit of a smile, nodding a bit.

“We can go,” he agrees, but not before downing his drink while maintaining eye contact. Ashton sighs through his nose, wishing Luke wouldn’t be so self destructive all the time. Not that it matters -- he never remembers the next morning anyways. There’s a triumphant smirk on his lips as he looks over to Ashton, tossing his cup into a nearby trash bin. He reaches his hand out, looking expectantly to Ashton. Ashton sighs again as he takes Luke’s hand, offering him a tired smile as he threads their fingers together effortlessly. “Lead me home, handsome, and then we can start dancing.”

Ashton just nods, his smile weakening a little bit as he tugs him out of the house and towards the car. He didn’t want to be the one to break the news to him, to tell him they would never get all the way home without Luke pushing himself over the cliff of his mind and spiraling like he always does. It never takes more than twenty minutes without a crowd and a constant stream of drinks to keep him from breaking down. Ashton knows that Luke needs help, but Luke drinks to forget that he’s sad, and then he remembers all over again in the wake of it.

And Ashton always has to pick up the pieces.

But he loves Luke, more than anything in the world. He would do anything to make him smile. Even if it means watching him destroy himself over and over again, and breaking his own heart bit by bit in the process.

So he just plasters the smile back onto his face and leads Luke towards the car, and to certain emotional mutilation.

And when they get home, and Luke is a crying mess in the passenger seat, Ashton just scoops him up delicately, like he always does, and puts him to bed, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay.

And it will be. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://cakelftv.tumblr.com)!


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